Clear Conscience
by benignmilitancy
Summary: Perhaps the Doctor can change, but it would take nothing short of a miracle. And they cannot depend upon the mercy of a virtual impossibility to save them. He refuses to let this world go to waste and ruin because Sonic cannot handle the fact that not all beings are intrinsically good. IDW 19 AU fic. One-shot.


**A/N: Mandatory spoiler warnings for IDW 6 and IDW 19.**

* * *

_Clear Conscience_

* * *

"Shut up."

The first words Shadow says upon exiting the truck are administered quickly but sternly, a slap to the face he cannot touch.

Sonic's grin melts along with the droplets gliding down his fur.

Shadow slams the cabin door, letting its dull peals echo through dusty, reddened air. He gazes toward a fiery horizon as a hot breeze caresses his quills. Gunfire cracks thunder in the distance. Smoke wafts in thick plumes from high-rises.

Sonic, as usual, is quick to bristle. "What's your deal, Shad? I've got it, too!" He thrusts out his arm, pinching his metallic wrist. His flesh distends as his thumb depresses the smooth, putty-like coating. Shadow wrinkles his nose. "See?"

The glance he throws over his shoulder is piercing; slowly he crushes his mouth into a grim, mirthless line. "I don't have time for this," he says. "There are survivors who need help." He makes a point of scanning Sonic from head to toe. "_My_ help."

Sirens utter thin, yearning wails. Another building collapses in a cloud of soot, cloaking the sun. The city crumbles under the weight of the Doctor's abomination.

Running a finger along the smooth metal of his inhibitor—no, he clenches his fist, not yet—he teleports out of the ruined square.

A flash of light whisks him away before Sonic can argue. This conversation isn't finished—far from—but with every second that ticks by another life is lost. To thumb his nose with a petty '_I told you so_' would be tantamount to hand-delivering innocents into the Doctor's clutches.

* * *

_"They've got us pinned!"_

_"Oh, please, somebody!"_

_"We're trapped in here!"_

_"Help!"_

The citizen's cries throb in his ears, indiscriminate, from all directions. As he makes his way into the heart of downtown, they thicken and churn.

Sonic looked tired. Behind the paper-thin smirk lay a mask of weariness. Despite the resentment he harbors, he can't say Sonic deserved it. No one deserves this. But Sonic can't protect everyone, and it's arrogant of him to believe he can when half his battle consists of fighting himself.

If Sonic is smart, Shadow thinks, he'll find a safe place to recuperate. Somewhere far from civilization where an accidental brush of the hand won't endanger innocents. He shudders to think how one simple high-five, as Sonic is fond of dispensing, could prove their undoing.

It doesn't take him long to encounter trouble in the form of a stalled school bus packed with frightened children, the chassis rocking back and forth as zombots siege it on all sides. The driver yanks the clutch in a vain attempt to break free. Tires burn singe-reeking smoke.

The corpse of an evacuated van crumbles under a mass of seeping, writhing zombots. Shadow spots the amputated door lying on the ground nearby.

Snatching it up, he dashes through the gauntlet, bracing himself against the onslaught. Probing claws screech down the window, gouge the glass in splintering webs. The victims slash for him as he crushes his fingers around the handle like the strap of a shield boss.

"Let me in!" he orders, pounding on the doors. The driver, a gray sheep clad in dusty uniform, freezes, her hands petrified over the clutch.

Groaning prickles his nape, bristles his instincts into action. He punts the door into the masses, allowing him just enough time to wrench the bus doors apart and stow inside.

Aisles of children shiver, crying, pale. They seem to be just as terrified of him as the horde. He doesn't have the words to comfort them. But maybe he doesn't need any. He turns immediately to the driver.

"This can't be happening," she whispers. "This is a nightmare—"

"Calm down," he says. "There is a way out of here."

He points to the road ahead, clotted with congealing numbers of infected.

"Through _them?" _She flicks her liquid gaze back to him, her eyes flung open to the whites. "I can't run them down! What if they—"

"Your first priority is keeping these children safe," he says. The cabin rattles, and she clamps both hands over her temples to shut out the noise. "Breathe. You know how to do this. You have to."

Thudding bashes against cheap steel.

"Put the key in the ignition."

Shakily, she complies. Flooded machinery coughs. "It— It won't turn." She wrenches the wheel, though it's stiff. Her knowledge has fled her in the throes of panic.

He reminds her: "You need to break the wheel lock."

"E-excuse me?"

"If it happens again, break the wheel lock." He demonstrates by twisting the grip back and forth until the lock in question loosens the wheel. He tries the key again, and this time the engine flares, its fury renewed. "You've got enough of a jump to evacuate the city. Don't stop until you reach the rendezvous. Thirty miles west that way," he says, pointing, and turns to address the children. "Do as she says, but most of all, stick together. Everything will be all right."

He has to keep believing it, or no one else will.

* * *

("_Look_—_I get it! Eggman's been a grade-A jerk for years! But he's also done some good stuff, too!_

_"Like," Sonic strains a smile, "remember that business on the ARK way back when? He helped us save the world!"_

_The smile withers on his reticence._

_"Okay, so he kinda started that mess, too_… _It's not like he was aiming to destroy the world_…

_"Hold on!" Sonic screams as he takes off. "I'm not done yet!"_)

Oh, yes, a true altruist. Sonic spares his life, and the Doctor repays him with illness.

("_Okay_—_what about when the Black Arms invaded? Remember all that? Eggman fought the alien invasion with us! Without him, we may not have lasted long enough to save the day!")_

A selfish reflex. They threatened to break his toys, so he lashed out.

Shadow finds Rouge corralling a group of survivors into an abandoned apartment building. "We're getting them to higher ground," she says as she dashes up the stairs. "Grab somebody and start hauling."

Between trips, he commits the mistake of asking her why GUN hasn't expedited their evacuation efforts. The city's arteries are clogged with infected.

Rouge grabs his wrist. "Hey, clueless. _Look_ at me." Her tightening grip forces him to return her gaze. "We're doing the best we can."

"It won't be enough if everyone's left to fend for themselves."

"Then help us now," she insists. "You wanna play vigilante like last time? Knock yourself out. Just don't do it on _my_ watch."

"Are you afraid I'll do something reckless?"

"If I leave you alone, you will," she says. "We have to work together. That's the only way we're gonna get through this."

His gaze sinks to the floor.

The realization softens her grip, one finger at a time. "You're still hung up about what happened back in the village, aren't you?"

"I don't understand why Sonic resisted so much." He crosses his arms. "The blood would have been on my hands. Not his."

"He would have known," Rouge says softly. "That's enough."

He snaps around. "And that justifies this? Because he'd feel guilty, innocent people must pay the price?"

"You're losing sight of the bigger picture. The only person to blame here is Eggman," she says. "This, all of this… It's an experiment gone wrong, Shadow."

"So was I, if you remember."

Her shoulders sag.

("_Have you forgotten that he made you suffer?" Shadow asks. "That he's tried to destroy you multiple times? How can you suggest leniency for him after all that?"_

_"Heh." Sonic's smirk darkens. "You tried to destroy me in the past, too, remember? You even tried to obliterate the planet. So_—_what? You want me to take you out with Eggman? _

_"After all," he says, "if he can't be forgiven, can you?"_)

It's easy to pose such a question when one bestows forgiveness like an edict from on high. Sonic has never suffered need of it himself. Nor would he; if he does what he believes is right, others' feelings on the matter are negligible to him.

Sonic had not only insisted the Doctor had changed, but that he was capable of doing so of his own volition. That a remorseless past was no indication of a glass-fragile present, where a man clad in bathroom slippers cowered behind his former enemy.

It would be insane, wildly dangerous, to assume his forgetfulness would suppress his true self for long. Shadow's own memories broke through his amnesia, after all, and the Doctor's evil is a much more incontrovertible fact. It cannot be shaken from his soul, nor removed by a mere knock on the head. This 'Tinker's' goodness would have relented eventually—and suppose the epiphany had struck him while he strummed guitar in a room full of children? Had Sonic stopped to consider it?

Perhaps the Doctor can change, but it would take nothing short of a miracle. And they cannot depend upon the mercy of a virtual impossibility to save them. He refuses to let this world go to waste and ruin because Sonic cannot handle the fact that not all beings are intrinsically good.

* * *

Omega soldiers through the alley one stolid step at a time, titanium alloy dragging exposed scars across his crimson paint. The infected cling to him; he cannot shake them off.

One of his optics diverts toward a faint, tinny knocking: a victim gnawing on his hood. Annoyance pulses through his circuits.

He fires a secondary round, knocking it back. No sooner does the whirling smoke clear do more swarm in to fill its absence, like insects. Like pests.

The vessel bearing his despised creator's face hovers over the smudged atmosphere. It tilts precariously, preparing to rain more virus over the hapless city. Even though he knows neither he nor the victims will be affected by the renewed onslaught, Omega wrenches the parasites aside.

**C: ECHO**

**IF SHADOW fails to execute protocol E THEN this unit executes protocol E**  
** {SHADOW E}**  
** {This unit = E123****Ω****}**  
** {E = Eggman_terminate}**

**ELSE **  
** {with extreme prejudice}**

**END IF**

**COMMAND SAVED TO MEMORY**

Metallic tides flood the streets.

* * *

Boarded windows and furniture barricades can't staunch the flow; soon their defenses erode and they must retreat into the next room, then the next, conceding, buckling, losing ground by the minute.

_"Spear!"_

The javelins he hurls careen off the walls, scorching the peeling wallpaper but barely glancing his targets. With each one he staggers a little more to regain his balance.

"You've gotta pace yourself… " Rouge doesn't know how quickly her advice will be needed when he hits the sticky linoleum floor with a hearty _thump. _"_Shadow_—" She rushes over to help him upright. "You okay?"

His head swims. "Pushing it," he rasps, clutching his tingling wrist, and shakes his head. "There's too many of them."

"You need to rest." She grips him by the arms and tries to hold him steady as a brief coughing fit racks him."You don't look like you're fit for walking."

"Then I'll crawl." Shadow pushes off her hand with one stippled in cuts. "I've got a pulse, and I intend to make the Doctor regret it."

Slowly, the light behind thin curtains darkens, like an impending storm front. The air hums before quivering with electronic feedback. The Doctor has returned with the announcement that he's, oops, "missed a spot."

Rouge's ears prick at another sound, fainter. "The evac siren," she says. "Ship's gonna spit up on the roof any minute now. We have to go."

One of the survivors sniffles with her back turned to them, her head bowed.

"No… "

Rouge takes a ginger step forward.

The woman wrenches around with tear-filled eyes. Kicking in her arms is her baby, screaming its lungs out as silver invades its limbs.

Rouge's hand flies over her mouth.

"I'm sorry." The mother gives her head a small, resolute shake. "I'm not leaving him." She cradles the crying infant, nuzzling its cheek against hers. "It's okay, baby, Mommy's here. She's right here. Shhh. _Shhh."_

Virus crawls up her arms as she hums a lullaby. Mother and infant convert together, until the strength evaporates from her arms.

She stiffens, straightens.

Drops the baby.

Shadow winces at the hard _thud_ it strikes against the floor, silent and still, little more than an inanimate object. It doesn't cry out. It doesn't do anything.

"Oh, God," someone whimpers. He corrals the remainder into the adjoining bedroom and slams the doors just as she lumbers her first shuffling, leaden step.

_This is what Sonic's conscience has wrought._

_This is what 'doing what he believes is right' has brought them._

Gnashing his teeth, he bars the group from advancing with his hand. "Take the others and get them to the rendezvous point," he tells Rouge. "I'll hold them off."

"Are you out of your mind? _No. _We need you."

The doors bow and break.

She asks desperately: "Can't you use Chaos Control?"

Shadow clenches his trembling fist. He's already used so much energy that a paroxysm could render him unconscious for an indeterminate amount of time. Besides that, there is no guarantee Chaos Control could deposit them in a completely quarantined area. If he depletes the last of his reserves, he'll fall, saddling them with an unnecessary burden.

"I won't be any use to anyone unconscious," he says. "Get them out of here."

Shadow's body trembles all over with nervous energy. He raises his decrepit hands before him, his fingers shaking horribly now against the backdrop of shining automatons marching toward them. His fur stands on end, prickled. Like electricity. Like a switch about to be flicked on regardless of his consent. And this room— This room is full of potential fuses. They won't stand a chance, if they stand at all. She has to take them away from here.

It isn't his usual pride warning him but instinct coupled with dread and fury, Rouge's voice that screams with all of her life, '_Shadow, just go!'_ as the infected approach them, claws unsheathed.

The knot in his chest coils until it becomes unbearable.

"I hope this was worth it, Sonic." Glowing with energy until his fur prickles warm currents, he unclips his inhibitors. A ring raises dust from the stiff carpet it strikes. Its partner follows.

He stoically faces the horde. The fresh tide might suck them all in, but the greater cause must always outweigh the risk.

Raw energy explodes from his outstretched hands. Columns of light sear so brilliantly through the room the glow bears down on them, piercing through them, although it seems to bring them no pain. They would vanish in the light he creates, from his mind and body.

He moves his hands to push the energy into the encroaching masses. While time stops, light surges and ripples forth like waves in a pond. Stars glitter ferocious jewels in the dim red air, burning such brilliance he doesn't understand what it was he'd feared, just what it was he had to hate and rage for when he can hold galaxies in his hands.

In that moment he feels so immortal he can't help but laugh. A deep, shuddering chuckle builds in the base of his diaphragm and breaks free from his lips.

"No, Shadow, don't!"

"If you don't leave now," he calls back, "more will fall."

One heartbeat.

Two.

Infected citizens begin to swarm in through the hole in the dam his sheer resolve keeps immured. He isn't sure if the distant throb Rouge's voice makes in his ears is a blessing or a warning—

"Shadow," Rouge cries, "_hold on!"_

He is. And still they persist. He knows he cannot win. All he must do is buy her time.

Perched on the windowsill, about to fly off into the smoldering sunset with the survivors on her back, she glances ruefully at him, her irises brimming with unshed moisture.

"I'll come back for you."

He gives her a wan smile. "You will."

He continues to believe it even as they welcome him into their arms.

* * *

**A/N: Like many fans, I was both disappointed and frustrated with how issue 19 handled Shadow's manner of infection. This fic is part AU, part fix-it, based on a Tumblr post I made saying how Shadow should have been infected as a consequence of being angry with Sonic, not because he was too arrogant to believe the virus could affect him.**


End file.
